Not About Me

In many ways, this trip to the Philippines has not turned out how I had envisioned it would. Though I tried to come over with no expectations, I have been finding out more and more that I had my fair share of them. I expected that it would be challenging, and it has been. And yet I had thought it to be more taxing physically, rather than mentally so. And that it has been spiritually taxing should have come as no surprise, but I confess that I have been taken aback several times by the spiritual attacks.

I came here and I had to start from scratch. We created an outdoor kitchen bit by bit, surviving in the early weeks on tuna sandwiches. While we have a better handle on our cooking now, it was and sometimes still is a struggle for me to be upbeat about buk-buk bugs and constant showers of bamboo powder sprinkling down on clean dishes and food items, or even cooking in the midst of Hurricane Nina's ferocity. I am learning to be thankful in every situation. I will bless the Lord at all times, His praise shall continually be in my mouth. It is one thing to memorize verses like these in Sunday School as a six year old child, and quite another to put it into practice in the midst of a mental breakdown. He is slowly teaching me that this is not about me.

We came to build a clinic on the property that we currently live on, and as yet, we have not begun. Three of our team members have returned home, and four now remain to work on the task that has been placed on hold due to permit issues. Frustration? Yes, at times. But Jesus is showing us how to broaden our vision. The past three months have been filled with projects, including bettering the temporary clinic by finishing out a birthing room and adding on another room in the back, almost doubling the available square footage, and fixing mechanical issues with the ambulance and other modes of transportation. We are currently in the process of building a CR on the second level, making it much more accessible for everyone. I am thankful for the blessing of concrete stairs over the roughly hewn steps in the mud, because they hold up so much better in the rain. Thou hast enlarged my steps under me, that my feet did not slip. Psalm 18:36

I am learning over and over the valuable lesson that people are more important than things. Things in this instance is not limited to possessions, or items, but includes my sleep, my next meal, my time. It is the putting away of my wants and my 'needs' to focus on someone else who needs to be built up and encouraged. I have been stretched further than I thought I was capable of being moved, and am learning that His ways are so much higher than mine. I am humbled by Jesus.

I really never have a legitimate reason to complain. Each Saturday, John and I drive the ambulance to the city landfill to pick up pregnant patients, bringing them back to the clinic on Bennet Road for their prenatal visits. Each week, they greet us with beautiful smiles and shining faces. Each week my eyes take in their surroundings, a fenced in area filled with reeking garbage and swarming with flies. People work in the landfill, sorting out the recyclable bits from the waste. On hot, sunny days, cardboard lies out to dry on the concrete, and on the rainy, wet days, they sort plastics into bags. Their homes are nearby, but even these sometimes make my neepa hut seem like a haven of warmth and comfort. Whenever I am tempted to complain, I am pricked by the realization that I have no grounds for my ungratefulness.

I am learning, being taught by a patient Teacher. He is kind, and He is humble, and He is ever calling me upward and onward. All to the glory of my King.