Lighting Up: #4

He gave me lights! When I opened up our neepa hut door at dusk tonight, a soft, warm glow danced around the room and illuminated the room inside. When I looked upwards, my delighted eyes beheld four hanging orbs suspended from our vaulted ceiling. They were utterly whimsical and so lovely to look upon, and I was so surprised.

These lights are made out of shells and are formed in the shape of an octagon, similar to a soccer ball. I was enchanted by them the first time I laid eyes on them at an outdoor restaurant cafe in Olongapo. And now they cast down their mellow glow from our neepa hut.

The outer shells are pearlescent in sheen. It comforts me, having these orbs of light in our home. John is so good to me. He was pleased at my surprise...I love him immeasurably.

Rainwalking: #3

Tonight John and I walked home from the clinic. It had just begun to sprinkle raindrops as we made our way down Bennet Road, but the drops grew in size and intensity, and soon it began to rain in earnest. We were both drenched to the skin. As it pelted down on us, we took off running for shelter. We waited for the rain to let up as we stood, dripping, under out new found refuge. Rivulets of water ran down my face and collected on my already soaking shirt. My ponytail dripped onto my back. When it trickled to a drizzle, John and I made a dash for home. We still had quite a stretch of ground to cover, and the heavens opened up once again as we pressed onwards.

We arrived at our hut drenched from head to toe, chilled, with mud-caked feet. And it was oh so wonderful to be home. Home, where the lights dance like flickering candles to welcome us. Home, where the fan awaits to dry out our wetness. Home, where our bed sits invitingly, cozy with sheets and pillows and blankets. I was glad to be back, safe and dry from the storm outside.

Fairy Tree: #2

There is a particular tree here on the land that is absolutely enchanting. Every night, as dusk settles, the tree begins to sparkle with lights. In the darkness, tiny glowing lights hover around it's leafy foliage. Like a fairy haven, the umbrella tree is filled with fireflies. They gather round the treetop and dazzle us each night.

We all refer to it as the 'fairy tree.' It both captivates and sparks imagination. I have never seen anything like it. God's wonders never cease to amaze.

See the Birdies: #1

I am posting a series of selected journal entries here on the blog, and numbering them as I go along. They are collection of short stories, musings, observations, and happenings, and I do hope you enjoy them.

I broke John Langham's door. Busted it right off the hinges. It all started after dinner tonight when John Langham invited me to his hut to see his new birds. He warned me to be quiet, as they would be sleeping, and then he and my husband headed off to return the ambulance to the clinic. This left me all alone to satisfy my curiosity. It was dark, and the sole light emanated from the porch lamp, so I navigated through the darkness by the glow of my cell phone flashlight. I stood on the threshold and lifted my hand to the doorknob. I twisted it in my palm, and though the handle turned, the door didn't budge. Not one inch. I concluded that the humidity had caused the wood door to swell, and decided to put my weight into moving the door open by force. Turning the knob once more, I heaved myself at the wooden panel. Stuck. Undeterred, I doubled my efforts and shoved with all my might. I wanted to see those birds.

I felt the door give way, but instead of swinging open, it began to tilt down on top of me. The tiny screws that held the hinges had all come out at once, and suddenly I was trapped - attempting to hold the door up and keep myself from being crushed beneath its weight. As I struggled to wedge the door back into the frame, it crossed my mind that John was playing a nasty trick on me. Sending me up to his place, alone, in the dark, to "see the birds," after having booby trapped the his door. And I fell for it...

In the midst of these thoughts, I had managed to squeeze the door back in the frame, and then I ventured inside to take a peek at John's birds. They were nestled together, sleeping, and one had its head tucked beneath it's wing. They were very sweet. John had built the cage himself, and it was an intricate piece of art. I left the birds to their peaceful slumber and shut the unhinged door as best I could before I shot John a text. "What's with your door?"

It turned out that he didn't prank me. Both John's were surprised that I had managed to bust out the door. All in a day's work.

Stability

Balancing cares that are not my own
Taking on added responsibility
Evidence now of how I have grown
Into a role that was not mine naturally
I begin to relish the challenge
Juggling gifting with insecurity
Leaning upon the one truth I know
You are my anchor, my stability

Placing one foot forward, tentatively
Gently lifting the second behind
Thoughts wander, I wobble shakily
'Til I focus and sharpen my mind
Rememb'ring the words you said to me
Resounding echoes deep in my soul
Suddenly granting me clarity
Before my cares start to take their toll

I know You won't let my foot slip
Off this narrow path on which I travel
It may seem as though I'm losing my grip
Yet somehow I will not unravel
I'm holding onto something precious
I have found the pearl of great price
Though my life may be precarious
I shall follow Your loving advice

Please help my eyes see the beauty
When all I can see is despair
Give me strength to stop the cruelty
When I am tempted to not even care
Help me to seek humilty
To turn and seek Your face
In the eyes of the broken and weary
The people who need Your grace

I am not just free-falling
I am not just dust in the wind
I heard Your voice and Your calling
My spirit has been quickened
My eyes have now been opened
Your truth is very revealing
I will go wherever you send
And I will not be unfeeling
I will follow You to the End.

In Moderation

The aroma of freshly brewed coffee beans beckon me, luring me invitingly to sip a mug of creamy goodness. In Manila, I discovered The Coffee Bean & The Tea Leaf, and I now prefer it over Starbucks. Quality roast coffee for a better price, and with a classy atmosphere that is comfortably balanced with a laid back feeling, all combine to make the Bean & Leaf the coffeehouse of my choice. Their white chocolate dream latte is sublime. I enjoy leisurely mornings with my husband over a steaming hot cup of coffee.

Most of you are already aware of my love of coffee. In the States, especially when I was in college, I could hardly get through a day without my morning brew. I have since reduced my coffee intake, and now that I am in the Philippines my coffee cravings are still going strong. Our hospitable neighbors possess a Starbucks french press, and the resulting flavor is very rich and smooth. I have not been deprived of my favorite indulgence here in Olongapo.

Unfortunately, I have come to the realization that coffee, while still absolutely delicious and satisfying, is not beneficial to me. It dehydrates me, and since arriving in the Philippines, I have had to double my efforts to stay hydrated. As much as I love coffee, I will have to limit myself in order to stay healthy. C'est la vie... If only I loved water as much as my dark brew.

So the next time I visit a coffeehouse, it will make the cup all the sweeter as I will be anticipating the flavors to roll over my tongue. You can bet that I will savor the smells, the warmth of the mug in my hands, and the sensation and taste of the white chocolate dream latte. Some things in life are not necessary, but they sure do give it more pizazz.

coffee bean & the tea leaf

Pushing Higher

As a child, I loved to swing. I would pump ever higher, always wishing that somehow, some way, I could touch that bit of cloud far out in the big blue yonder. I wanted to dance in the sky, and swinging brought me as close as I had ever been. There was something exhilarating about swinging.

I am older now, and I do not swing as often any more. There are times, however, that I reminisce, and I occasionally seek out a playground in search of my old familiar favorite. Life can seem so simple as I methodically pump, falling up, falling down. Closing my eyes, I feel the rush of air and imagine soaring upwards, into the sky.

I recall the days when my little legs did not yet possess the strength to pump me on their own. It was then that my father would push me from behind. I remember the joy and the laughter, as he would cause me to burst into giggles when he would give me his special 'underdogs.' He was always there for me, keeping me in motion. Eventually, he taught me how to swing on my own.

Christ is like my father in the sense that He quietly under-girds me, steadily pushing me when I do not have the strength. And when the time comes, He watches me from a distance as I learn to 'swing' on my own.

Lately, it seems as though I have been swinging often. Jesus has equipped me and John as well, and we have had to do our share of pumping. We are exercising our muscles and strengthening our legs, and we are discovering how to go the distance. And I know that Jesus is supporting us as we push higher. Further up, and further in... Onwards and upwards, for the glory of Christ.

image credit

Impressions

I have been thinking about knowledge. I yearn to know things, truth absolutely, and yet sometimes this hunger for knowledge takes me to the edge. Sometimes I delve too deep, and find out truth, but a truth that pains me. And once I know, I cannot not know. It is as though the knowledge impresses itself into my mind, and I cannot unimpress or dislodge the information.

Gnawing inside
Yearning to truly know
Even if the knowing brings pain

Reaching further
Searching for the truth
Even if the truth is cruel

Sinking realization
Evidence of my fears
Impressed upon my being

Sweet release
Burden takes on wings
Embraced by my Savior

And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. [Romans 12:1-3]

Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. [Philippians 4:8]

Sometimes, the impressions of knowledge leave scars. Though they heal, the scar remains. I think about Christ, who bore the weight of all of the sins of the world, past, present, and future. I think of the burden that He bore, and I know that my Savior bore that burden for me. For all of us. He was scarred, battered, bruised, tortured that we might have life. This is an impression of knowledge, and it is a wonderfully painful one. It was because of His great love that He gave, and paid such a price. It is an awesome thing to comprehend.

A Glimpse

I compiled several scenic shots that I have snapped during our time here in Olongapo and Subic Bay, Philippines, in order to give you a glimpse into the sights that greet our eyes daily. You can see for yourselves how very beautiful our surroundings are. God created great beauty, and it is so awesome for me to be here and to see His artistry on display.

Nothing Compares

Now that my husband and I have taken up residence in Olongapo, Philippines, I have truly experienced real rainfall. Back at home in the Midwest of the US, we had our share of rainshowers and April showers and rainfall, but it is nothing like this. Umbrellas have become a necessity. Which makes for a lot of fun for me, because I love umbrellas. Their shape, their functionality, and the fact that they keep me dry-ish in the midst of torrential downpour is nothing short of a small blessing.

I have also been reflecting and musing, since I have been under the weather these past few days and have some down time. I have thought a lot about Jim Elliot's words, words that have always rung true for me, but now they mean something more than before.

He is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose.

You may be wondering, and rightly so, what umbrellas and rain have to do with such a deep and insightful quote as his, but I am a rambling writer so bear with me please. We have only been in country for one month but even in this short period of time I am realizing how very blessed even the less fortunate of Americans really are. I am coming to an understanding that I knew in my head prior to leaving, but seeing it in front of me brings it closer to home.

Our team of volunteers live on a mountainside surrounded by a scenic lush green view and filled with wonderfully fresh air. There is a river that flows by at the base of the property. Our CR, or bathroom, is at the bottom of the mountain, and it is a steep climb down a set of stairs hewn into mud and set with large rocks for support. We have an open kitchen and dining room, and we live in one-room huts. It is a simple, basic set-up. We cook using a double burner gas stove, have no refrigerator, no stove, and no dishwasher. In America, these appliances are almost taken for granted. There is not air-conditioning in our huts, but we have fans hooked up. Our essentials are all available, and we have come to enjoy the simplicity of our life here. There is something absolutely marvelous about waking up to our scenic view every morning.

There are people here in Olongapo who live in the city landfill. They sort through garbage to find items that can be cashed in and recycled. In the heat of the day, flies swarm in a black cloud and settle on everything. The people live in pieced together shanties. And they are some of the sweetest, most contented people I have ever met. When the wind and rains come, they batter down the hatches, and after the storms, they find new scraps to patch the damage.

Our earthly possessions pass away. Whatever 'status' they give us here, they mean absolutely nothing in the sense of eternity. In Matthew 6, Jesus talks about a lasting treasure:

Lay not up for yourselves treasures upon earth, where moth and rust doth corrupt, and where thieves break through and steal:

But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal:

For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also. [Matthew 6:18-20]

And Peter echoes his sentiment:

That the trial of your faith, being much more precious than of gold that perisheth, though it be tried with fire, might be found unto praise and honour and glory at the appearing of Jesus Christ:

Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory:

Receiving the end of your faith, even the salvation of your souls. [1 Peter 1:7-9]

I do not feel deprived for having given up everything I had back in the States. I do not regret our decision to come to Olongapo and help Mercy In Action. The day I became a Christ follower, I denounced everything else, and I can honestly say that nothing else compares to the greatness of knowing Him. So with Jim Elliot, I too will give what I cannot keep to gain that what I cannot lose. In the last book of the Bible, in the final chapter, it reads:

He that overcometh shall inherit all things; and I will be his God, and he shall be my son. [Revelation 21:7]

So maybe I lived under an 'umbrella' in the states in the sense that I was sheltered from hardship and had a plethora of possessions. And now, in a sense, that umbrella has been lifted. I may not have as much here as I did there, but I am the richer for it. Christ has opened up my heart to love even more. That is the funny thing about love, it keeps expanding. Just when you think you have reached the limit, you see a whole new level and come to realize that it is limitless. This is the love of Christ, and it knows no bounds.

And so we are pressing onwards and upwards to the high calling of Jesus Christ on the path that He has shown us. My husband and I set off on this journey together, and we do not know where we will wind up. But we do know this, that we are following Christ, and we desire to honor him above anything else. To whatever end.